


12 Words

by BenW



Category: Star Wars Legends: X-Wing Series - Aaron Allston & Michael Stackpole
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-12
Updated: 2018-08-12
Packaged: 2020-04-08 02:16:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19097716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BenW/pseuds/BenW
Summary: A short fic written for a Rogue Podron prompt, showing how different Rogues and Wraiths might seduce someone in 12 words or less.





	12 Words

Kell Tainer wondered what he had walked in to. The moment the door to the pilots lounge had opened, the first word he heard were from Wes Janson’s voice: “If you'd good at it, you should be able to get it done in twelve words.”

“Twelve words.” Myn Donos’ solid voice intoned. “That doesn't seem like enough.”

“Exactly, for most people it's not. But if you're good at it… then that should be all you need.” Wes was sitting cross-legged on one of the spoon-shaped chairs in the corner of the lounge. Arrayed around him were various other members of the Rogues and Wraiths. They were between missions, Warlord Zsinj was on the run but far from defeated. The bit of downtime they had was being spent doing whatever they could to relax, recover, get ready for tomorrow.

And, apparently, engage in word counting competitions.

“I don’t know, Wes.” Face Loran was sitting on the edge of one of the tables, nursing a drink in one hand. “Twelve words is a very exact number. What is that, one sentence, maybe two?”

Kell walked over to another table, one where Tyria, Dia and Lara were clustered together, either rolling their eyes or looking rather sarcastically at Wes. He knelt down next to Tyria and spoke in a low voice. “What’s going on, and does it involve people dying or no?”

“Not this time,” She said, turning to him with a smile. “Wes is just making misogynistic insinuations.”

“Yeah, I object, Wes.” Dia said with a mock-offended glare. “Do you really think that you can get a girl to jump on you after just twelve words?”

“Hey, it isn’t just guys who can do this, right? The principle holds true for anyone.” Wes gestured in their direction. “Lara, bear me out.”

Lara put her hands up in a defensive posture. “Don’t look at me, Lieutenant.”

“Dia? Tyria?”

Tyria flushed and shrugged. Dia just shook her head.

Wes rolled his eyes and unfolded his legs, letting his feet rest on the floor. “Okay, here, I’ll give you an example. I see a lady, or man, at a bar I’m at on leave. Cute, handsome, however you want to think of them. Now, I only have one chance to make a first impression, so what do I say? Remember, twelve words.”

“Well, I know what I’d say.” Face said with a slightly dismissing shrug.

“Well, yeah.” Inyri Forge, one of the Rogue pilots, spoke from the corner. “You’d only need three. I’m Garik Loran.”

“Wait,” Kell said, “Isn’t that technically four words?”

Force rolled her eyes at him. “Shut up, Tainer.”

Myn started to speak and count off on his fingers as he went. “Want to go back to my place and get some hot caff? That’s twelve.”

“It also sucks.” Lara said. “What about, Hey, you’re cute, and I’m free tonight, how about it? Direct, no pretenses. No secrets.”

“What if they don’t like direct, though?” Kell asked, “What if direct makes them nervous?”

Lara shrugged. “Then maybe they don’t say yes. Not the end of the world.”

“I think,” Corran Horn spoke from his place, sitting in one of the other spoon chairs apart from most of the rest of the group, “That you could spin it up a bit. I think you look dazzling tonight, care to... step away with me?”

“See, I figured you’d just say something about not liking odds, or maybe a trieste about your family, your heroics.” Hobbie spoke up, his dour voice making it sound more mournful than sarcastic. “Something no one else could say.”

“It’s my experience that most women don’t like to hear you brag about yourself.” Corran said, folding his legs together on the chair.

“I mean, you’re just so good at it, though.” Kell said. Some of the others laughed.

“You’re one to talk, Tainer.” Corran challenged, “You haven’t even given us your line.”

“I already have a girlfriend, Horn. I don’t need a pickup line.”

“So do I.” Corran said with a shrug, “I still answered the question.”

“Fine.” Kell had to think, twelve words was not a lot. But, he was also standing next to Tyria, so he had to be careful what he said. “Here we go: are those your eyes, or did two stars fall into your face?”

Almost everyone laughed at that one. Wes looked at Tyria with a raised eyebrow. “I hope that’s not what he said to you.”

“No, it was worse.” Tyria said. Now everyone laughed.

“Anyone else?” Wes looked around the room, “Good, bad, doesn’t matter, just has to be twelve words long.”

“I have one.”

Everyone turned to look at the doorway. There stood Wedge Antilles in full uniform, trying his damndest to look stern but failing just enough to let a bit of humor slip through his facade. “I have a mission in the morning, but I am free tonight.”

“See, Wedge,” Wes said, “I thought yours would be, I’m Commander Wedge Antilles. Out of curiosity, how’s your husband?”

Everyone took a breath like they wanted to laugh, then looked at Wedge and stifled it. The amusement had departed Wedge’s face entirely, leaving only stern discipline behind. He took two steps inside, then motioned to the room. “Everyone out.”

Kell stood up, Tyria right behind him, and they vacated the room as if it were on fire. The rest of the Rogues and Wraiths were right behind them. When the room was cleared aside from Wedge and Wes, the door closed. Everyone stood out in the hall a bit awkwardly, torn between waiting to see what might happen and just leaving to go have fun elsewhere.

“Do you think the Commander will kill him first and skin him after, or the other way around?” Dia asked.

“I’m more worried about the drink I left on the table.” Face admitted. “I don’t want to have to wait out here until the ice melts.”

Tyria looked up at Kell. “You think Wes is in trouble?”

Kell shrugged. “He and the Commander have been friends for a while. I think he’ll probably just chew him out a bit for making bad jokes in front of the rank and file and let him off with a warning.”

“Well, as fun as this has been, I’m not spending the rest of my night standing around in a hallway.” Corran Horn said, “I’ll be in the mess hall if anyone wants to pick up a game of sabacc or something.”

He left, and a few of the other pilots, mostly the other Rogues, drifted away as well. Hobbie was the last of their group to leave, casting a long look at the door, then departing with his head down. Face, Dia, Kell and Tyria were left standing in the hallway, waiting, but not sure exactly what they were waiting for. Except for Face, who still seemed most eager to retrieve his drink.

Eventually, after what felt like a rather long time, the door hissed open again, and Wedge emerged. He looked at all of their faces as he walked out from the room, said “Dismissed,” and walked away down the hall. Everyone watched him go without moving, then turned as one to look back in the rec room.

Wes Janson emerged from the room, walking slow and looking rather less cheerful than he had been before. He looked at all of the Wraiths waiting for him, then said “Just… don’t ask.”

Face shrugged and slid past him, going back into the room to retrieve his drink. “Don’t have to tell me twice.”

“Are you on vent-scrubbing duty for a month, or what?” Dia asked, “You can’t just say don’t ask, we got kicked out of the lounge for whatever happened in there.”

“Listen, Pasik…” Wes held his hands up in front of him. “”It’s honestly better for you if you don’t ask.”

“The Commander made you the new confection’s officer, didn’t he?” Kell asked.

“No, it’s…” Wes sighed. “Wedge made me into the squadron’s designated bachelor and freelancing chaperone. He’s elected me to be the one to accompany any of our squadmates on dates if for some reason they elect to have a third wheel.”

“And you aren’t allowed to go on dates yourself?” Kell asked with a raised eyebrow.

Wes shook his head with a mournful look on his face. “Not until Zsinj is dead. That’s the ruling.”

“Wow.” Tyria folded her arms in front of her. “That’s… not as harsh as I would have expected.”

“Well, that all depends on how quickly we kill Warlord Zsinj.” Face returned to the hallway, drink again in his hand. “Might be days, weeks, months. Who knows?”

“Yeah, exactly.” Wes shook his head. “It’s more the not knowing that gets me than anything else.”

“Well, if it makes you feel better Lieutenant, we don’t need a chaperone. And I know that’s not twelve words, but…”

“Quiet, you.”

“Don’t worry, Lieutenant.” Dia assured him, “We’ll make sure to kill Zsinj before your next leave.”

Wes pointed a finger at her. “I’ll hold you to that, Passik.” He let out a harsh exhalation, then pointed at the drink in Face’s hand. “Think there’s any more of those left?”

Face shrugged. “If not, I’m sure we could make one.”

Wes nodded. “Good. Tainer, Sarkin, care to join us?”

“Of course, I’m happy to join up.” Tyria said,

“I was planning to spend my night in the lounge anyway.” Kell said. “A few drinks do tend to make things more entertaining.”

“Only ten words but no less true.” Wes waved them back into the lounge. “C’mon, we don’t have to tell the others they can come back until later.”


End file.
